I want to take a moment to discuss health....
Health like prosperity has many meanings. In the early stages of my career. Getting fast result with my clients, as with my life. Sometimes had disastrous long term effects! Why would some of my clients that had gotten fast results when they were training with me. Get back out of shape within a year of discontinuing training with me? How could they not appreciate achieving the goals that they had wanted? Especially when it took all that hard work! Was I focusing on rehabilitating there body, and enough on training their brain? This remained an enigma to me for many years, until one day when I was training myself. You see, I personally prefer to train alone, because exercise is one of the ways I meditate. I know this sounds counter intuitive, based on what all the so-called guru's teach, but just maybe we have evolved to just be...as we do?
Not for others, but for ourselves. Just maybe, meditation is evolving in response to the Nano age of instant gratification. Dunno, but what I do know is. There is no wrong or right way to do things, just our way. If it works, that is what matter's. When I exercise or train with weights, as I prefer to call it. Probably because exercise sounds so one dimensional. I am way past the mental masturbation of wanting a better body! Good enough is also a relative term. Like a dog chasing his tail, it wasn’t fun anymore when I realized it was my tail I was chasing! Getting back to my point, in sharing my experience. I was in one of my meditative states while training. Where my intention was for the future, but my attention was in the moment. In that moment, I had an epiphany.
Up until that moment...my entire life was driven by fear. My fear was the driving force of my vocational and recreational success. My fear had served me well to become an over achiever. Anything I did, I immersed myself in, until I achieved the top of my chosen endeavor. When I had reached the summit so to speak, and it was very fast process.In that moment I realized that I was nothing more than an automated response, based on past experience. My present way to approaching success had become what I did, not who I was. My success was based on what I conquered, not what I built. Success was only possible by achieving my individual accolades, ego driven. My needs were all based on my insecurities. My success was my client’s success. My power came only with my title, my approval, my clients success had become mine, and when they was gone…so was my sense of self. I became again…void of emotion, because everything was ego based, the root of my fear.
I felt that external success would give me a freedom from my past, because external success gave me a high...but not resolve. I became addicted to the high highs and low lows. I wasn’t achieving success with myself or with others I had adopted, so to speak. I became depressed.In that moment, I discovered the root of all addictions and an unhealthy co-dependency I had developed through absent parent's growing up. Whether healthy addictions or not. I was escaping myself! I wasn’t living; I was too busy making a living. When I became aware that it was my tail I was chasing, the high of the hunt was gone. Since that moment…I have learned to let go…to detach myself from the outcome. To live in the wisdom of uncertainty…to live in each and every moment. In this process of self actualization, I have come to realize that I am not training my body. I am training my spirit!
Training my spirit, gives me an eternal success that is the source of my strength. That external success (like my body for example), never gave me. It’s called fulfillment…the happiness from within. This process is not about dedicated my life to training, but dedicated training to my life.The power from training the source of our being. The human spirit strengthens our belief in ourselves. By whom we are, not what we do. Spirit lies at the source of all achievement in life. Challenging my spirit in dramatic ways, has produced results in my life by giving me freedom from my past…from the known. Freedom to have my own experience, to form my own belief system, or at least verify what I was being told. True freedom, not the myth that I was raised to believe when I didn't get my emotional needs met as a child.
There is nothing that I haven’t had to work through as an adult from my childhood, that many children growing up in chaotic environment will be faced with. That being said, I wouldn’t change a thing. Why? Because it didn’t break me down, it broke me open. Open to the possibility of tapping into the source my beginning, my spirit! It is my personal labyrinth…where I journey to the center of my being, and then back out to the world again. Where I form invisible bonds, that only grow when I train…in one form or another…that give me clarity, closure, and compassion…My ground Zero To Hero! Those who suffer teach, and greatness comes through suffering.We all have a unique talent or skill that we can share with others…to be of service...this is mine. As I have learned to surrender to the wisdom of uncertainty, and in so doing. I have also learned to let go of fear.
Today I am motivated by love. By accepting where I am to be who I am. I have learned to accept people for whom and what they are. With no Judgments…If you want big boobs like my girlfriend, then good for you. That takes a courage that I, as a man will never know. To judge others is to judge one’s self, because then we live in judgment and we feel what we focus on. Living in the problems, and we will become one…Live in the solutions, and your will become one. A bird doesn’t have to think about flying, it just fly’s. Everything has a certain amount of relevance. Even a certain amount of judgment does. It keeps us out of harm’s way for example. It is when we use it to break the invisible bonds we have with every living thing, that it becomes destructive.We all want the very same things in life like love, certainty, connection, for example. When we learn to co-create with nature through the process of nurturing ourselves, by focusing on ourselves. We give unconscious permission to others around us to do the same, and we build Hero's Not Zero's.
You see, Hero's are selfish, as much as their acts are self-less! They lead by example, by not allowing others weakness's to be their source of strength. They bring light where there is darkness. Our path is right in front of us, calling out in the depth of our own awareness….Only when we are aware that it is real...can it become real. I am an instrument in this revolution against negative reinforcement. Through labeling, stereo typing, prejudice, and racism. Love is nurturing not destructive…my intention is to bring more beauty through awareness into the world…but my attention is living in the moment…and after I am gone…I will have done what I came here to do…and that is enough…
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